


Nigel & Adam part 2

by LittleBluejay_SingingSongs



Series: Nigel & Adam [2]
Category: Adam (2009), Charlie Countryman (2013), Hannibal (TV), Hannibal Extended Universe - Fandom, Spacedogs - Fandom
Genre: M/M, New Year’s Eve, Pasadena - Freeform, Rose Bowl Parade
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-10-31 10:13:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17847485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleBluejay_SingingSongs/pseuds/LittleBluejay_SingingSongs
Summary: Nigel moves in with Adam, and learns his ways.Adam finds a way to deal with Nigel’s memory problems.Luc notices Nigel is quite different when he is with Adam, than when he is not.





	1. January 2

**Author's Note:**

> No beta  
> 🤷♀️  
> Learning to load pictures.  
> 😁  
> Photo of Michelangelo’s statue of David. Do you need black box?  
> The conclusion, part 3 has a happy ending. ❤️😎🤩

                                             

Luc heaved the sleeping man out of the car. He picked up his things and tried to kick the door shut. He missed and swung in an arc to steady himself. He carried Nigel flopping over his shoulder, into the hotel. It was a nice place. Pretty even. They walked past the front desk like they lived there, Nigel’s arms waving around, and entered the elevator. The hotel receptionist had given him a sympathetic wave. This wasn’t the first time.

 

When Luc returned to the lobby, the receptionist was now in the doorway, watching over his vehicle. He’d also shut the passenger door. Cool thought Luc. Luc passed him a bill, “Thanks.” The receptionist nodded.

 

Luc drove to a sunny spot, away from the other cars, took out his phone, and played a video he’d taken earlier of Nigel. Nigel wanted a house for Adam. ASAP. Close to JPL for Adam to walk to work. He replayed the next part. Oh. Right hm, Luc smiled. Nigel had used three languages in one sentence. What made Luc smile was that Nigel was upset, that every time he went to sleep, he woke up with no cigarettes. That’s what you get, when you hire somebody to look after your brain.

 

Luc called Darko. It was night in Bucharest, but he was awake. He sent the video. Darko ran his hand over his face, “Will he remember this?” Luc shrugged, looking away. “Why do you keep showing me these?”

 

“Keeping you informed, Darko.”

“What’s he doing now?”

“Sleeping.”

“He won’t remember.” Darko hung up. Luc called him back. Darko, “What?”

”Has Nigel ever been with a guy?”

”No. Never. What can I say? He likes women. So, why? Is he with a guy now?” Darko grinned and laughingly continued, “He must be the most beautiful man that ever walked the earth.” Darko looked at what was coming into his office, “You're with him, you tell me.” Darko hung up again. 

Back inside, Luc undressed Nigel with a practiced ease. He opened the made bed and tucked him inside. He changed, and hit the hotel’s ‘exercise room’ for two hours. The phrase made him smile, so American.

After showering, Luc did a search for a hotel in Pasadena, maybe with a kitchen, an ‘exercise room’, and hopefully available on the second. And since the plan was to be here for a while, a garden, or a park with plants and things nearby would be nice too. He found the Langham Huntington and booked it. No kitchen.

He began packing the car, by taking a load down with him, and went out for an easy dinner. He brought one back for Nigel. Even though half the time Nigel left it uneaten. He ate looking at the comatose man, his expression one of fondness and sadness.

Luc never forgot that he was here in America because of Nigel. Nigel might be sound asleep and helpless, but, Luc knew many of the things Nigel had done. And he was a little bit afraid of him. Luc liked being in America! He spent the rest of his evening studying Pasadena housing and the logistics of buying a house in America. Before he went to bed he texted Darko’s computer guy about house buying. An immediate reply came back, “On it.” Which meant Darko was okay with them buying a house.

 

Luc laid down to sleep. Four months ago his girl in Romania had found a new steady. Luc stared up at the ceiling. One night stands were what everyone looked for, at the club, he had learned the downside of such behavior long ago. One night stands were not for him.

 

January 2

Adam woke up acutely aware he was alone. He turned off his alarm and even though it was still dark and too early to be up, he got up anyway. He did his morning routine. He washed, dressed, made his bed, ate, washed the dishes, opened the drapes and sat on the sofa looking out the window at nothing. He wanted to see Nigel again.

 

It was hm..31 hours ago, when he first saw Nigel. They were falling. Nigel had been holding him in this warm comfortable embrace. He had felt attacked and frightened. “I’m Nigel.” This man. In the middle of the black sky. Nigel had picked him up easily, as if Adam weighed nothing, “I’m Nigel.” He liked being in Nigel’s arms. He liked the way Nigel looked at him.

 

Nigel held him tight and took him home. No wait, first they were walking. And Nigel was hugging him, tight. Then they were in a car. And then somebody was carrying him into his apartment! Was it Nigel? He put him in bed. Wait, there was something else. What was it? Nigel had taken off his pants, he just stripped them off! Adam didn’t know how to feel about Nigel doing that. People are not supposed to touch other people’s clothes. But he felt this frisson of excitement. But then, Nigel, had covered Adam up and left. Nigel left! Adam had always been told to be wary of abusive people. He was vulnerable and Nigel did not take advantage of him.

Nigel had left and Adam had woken up alone. Who was Nigel? Adam walked into the bedroom, and looked at the side table. There sat his stuff. Did Nigel live nearby? Would he ever see him again? He had done his morning routine, thinking constantly about Nigel, how he looked and his voice. He didn’t want to stop thinking about Nigel.

 

Then Nigel had come back. No, wait, ‘they’ came back. The quiet one. “Luc has to eat. Luc is leaving.” Adam remembered what came next. He stood up and walked around his living room. Finally he put on his coat. And remembering the sudden fall, on New Year’s Eve, he put on a knitted hat, then left for a walk.

He didn’t walk very fast because he was thinking about Nigel. Who was Nigel? Maybe it was a good thing he was gone. What kind of name is Nigel?

How had he hurt his arm? That uneasy feeling of not being able to remember exactly, made him feel bad. He had been awake the whole time. They had been playing, that’s all.

Watching Nigel eating. That was a good memory. He smiled. Watching Nigel put the fork in his mouth, the way his lips closed, and then the fork being pulled out. He saw that Nigel had been watching him, watching him. “Tell me what you want, Adam.” He had felt confused. What did he want? What should he say? “Anything Adam.”

Adam had blurted out in a breathy whisper, “I want to kiss you, Nigel.”

Nigel had leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead. Then pulled Adam forward, “Sit on my lap.” He did. Then we kissed over and over, while I was watching Nigel, eating.

The cool air was not helping. Adam looked around. What he wanted, was to be with Nigel. There was nobody around him, the street was deserted, he headed for home.

Being with Nigel was different from being with Beth. One’s a boy and one’s a girl. But in a way, they are both the same. But Nigel is different, he holds me tightly, and it feels good. Like my heavy blanket. Nigel is a walking heavy blanket. Suddenly it dawned on him, but of course, Nigel is a lot stronger than Beth. He carried my weight. Beth couldn’t. A little smile played across his mouth and eyes as he thought of Nigel holding him.

He talks differently, what he says. He never seems to be trying to figure me out. I am me and he is okay with me. Does he look at me differently? How are they different? He thought about it all the way back home.

 

A car door shut. Adam ignored it. He turned up the path to his apartment. “Hello Adam.” He turned around. Luc, “I didn’t mean to startle you.” Nigel was sitting in the car. “We, the three of us, need to have a conversation. “Nigel come with us, please. Adam take us inside, please.” Luc sheep dogged them inside.

Nigel! Nigel came back! He’s here. Adam was so distracted, he almost fell going up the stairs.


	2. Heartbreak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luc seems to be doing all the talking.

After dealing with Nigel all these months, Luc found that Adam’s crazy seemed easy. Give an order, not a request or a suggestion. Listen. Do what he wants. And try to never give an order.

Thinking this was going to be an easy day, and the floats were on display on the upper side of Sierra Madre Boulevard, maybe that would be a good walk for Nigel. Talking and getting to know more about Adam would be good too. Especially if Nigel’s dream of living with him were to come true. They had driven all the way to Adam’s place with Luc looking for an opening, to find out how did Nigel fall in love in a minute? And was he, truly in love? Nigel seemed to be in his own head, staring out the window.

They pulled up in front of Adam’s place. Nigel looked at Luc, demanding, “Why are we here?” Adam was walking towards them. Luc pointed at Adam.

”To see Adam.” Luc’s stomach clenched. Not again. Not now.

”Who’s he?” Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Fuck. Luc thought rapidly. Fuck. Nigel jumped time. How much time had he forgotten? How to deal with this? Fuck. Better if Adam knew about Nigel from the beginning. Sure, but fuck! Luc got out of the car. Adam looked lost in thought. He shut the car door as Adam reached them. Adam ignored it. 

“Adam, we need to have a conversation.” Adam’s face broke out into a smile at seeing Nigel. 

“Hi. Hi, Nigel. You came.”

Luc walked back to the car, “Nigel come with me.”

Adam was trying to walk and look backwards at the same time. Luc tried to stay in between the two men. Nigel scoped the area, as if he had never been there.

Inside Adam took off his coat smiling. He went to Nigel and hugged him. Nigel did not hug him back. It was like hugging a statue. Adam was confused.

                                   

Nigel stared at him, smiling?, “Who the fuck do you think, you fucking are, that you can fucking touch me?”

Luc froze. 

Adam froze.

A raven cawed.

“I am your Captain.” Nigel called him a name in Romanian. Adam shook, “You told me you loved me.” He backed away, staring at Nigel, he shouted, “You’re a liar.” 

                               

 Nigel ignored Adam. He reached for his cigarettes, “Why did you bring me here Luc?” The package was empty. He crushed it and dropped it on the floor. Why? Nigel had felt uneasy ever since Luc had told him what to do; ‘Get out of the car’, and ‘go in this building’. But, to go with this handsome man. One who looks like bait? Nigel looked at him again, flailing around on the other side of the room, thinking; “he is a heartbreaker”, he liked everything about Adam, even his voice. Gorgeous women were a dime a dozen, boys maybe five to a dime. But this guy was at the top of the list.  Nigel shrugged, he watched Adam leave the room, still feeling the hug Adam had given him, that had been a nice hug.

 

Something was happening in the bedroom. Something fell. Nigel imagined Adam falling over a tripod/camera setup. We’re here for what? A fucking porno! Sheets were being ripped. Maybe Adam was ripping down the sheets covering the window? He should have checked the place immediately. He looked around like a feral animal.

 

Luc gave Nigel a look of sadness. Which caught Nigel. What? He’s sad? About what? Now he checked the kitchen. Empty. Back in the living room, table four chairs, only one being used, computer, sofa. Nothing on the walls. Nobody lives here. Fuck.

 

At the bedroom door, Luc opened it, “Adam.” The bed had taken the brunt of Adam’s anger. Luc looked at Adam tangled in a blanket, tearing a hole in the mattress, thru the ripped sheet. Nigel came to the door and laughed with relief, because nobody was making a porno. And seeing somebody ripping up a bed was funny.

 

“Nu ajutați!” (“You’re not helping!”) Luc yelled in Romanian. 

Nigel shrugged, “He makes his shit and he sleeps in it.”

“Fii Adult! Așteptați în camera de zi!” (“Be the adult! Wait in the living room.”)

“Bine! Bine! Okay! Okay!”

“Face cum vrea.” (Please.) Luc said in a much softer tone of voice.

Da, da.” (Yes, yes.) Nigel left.

 

Luc watched Adam who was sliding half on the floor, crying. “There you are. You are going to be fine.” Luc untangled Adam from his blankets. Adam was now shaking. He pointed.Luc opened the closet, on the floor was a grey blanket, “Okay, you want this?” Luc pointed. Adam did not move. Luc picked up the blanket, “Oh my. This thing weighs as much as a horse.” He opened up the blanket and draped it on Adam, “Here you go. Do not worry.” He scooped up Adam and the blanket and carried him into the living room, “oof, this blanket is very heavy. You Adam, you don’t weigh a thing.” He set him on the sofa. Nigel started to move off the sofa. “You, you don’t move.”

 

Luc turned his back on Nigel, filled with tension that Nigel might jump him. He opened his lap top and set it on a chair in front of the two men. He pulled a second chair over for himself. “I’m going to tell you a story. A true story. To be very brief, Nigel, you forget.” He looked directly at Nigel, “Sorry Nigel. It’s true.” Nigel started to stand up. “NO. No. Wait. Watch. Watch the video.” Nigel stood up. Luc wipped out his wallet, and handed Nigel a business card, “Read it. Read it! Nigel. Look it is in your own handwriting.

 

Nigel looked at Luc. Luc had lowered his head, almost into bowing. He read in Romanian and in his own handwriting, “Do what Luc says.” He turned it over, “Watch the video.” It was signed, Nigel and a date from six months earlier. Luc was back upright, held out his hand for the card. As Nigel passed it back, he noticed the card showed wear. He sat down. He had a bad feeling this had happened before.

 

Luc put away the card, sat, and began by tapping on the keyboard, “This is a picture of you.” Adam had been oblivious to the card conversation, he stared dully at the picture of Nigel in a dark suit. Briefly he thought of all the locations Nigel would have worn such a suit, where such a suit might be bought and how would he himself might look in such a suit.

Nigel remembered the picture had been taken at one of Gabi’s performances. Maybe even the first one he’d attended. He was smiling. Because he had been looking at Gabi.

 

“Here’s you, and Gabi, obviously on your wedding day.” Adam stopped thinking, the image burning into his brain. Nigel felt an acute sense of loss. Luc moved to a new picture, ‘‘This is a picture of the wedding license, another of the divorce papers.” Nigel jumped up. “Nigel these are events that have already happened.” The two men stared at each other.

 

“You were married.” Adam said softly looking at the floor. Nigel turned to Adam, and studied his face. Maybe Adam’s not just a porn star. 

“Yes, Adam. But not anymore.” Luc answered in a like soft voice.

Nigel sat down, “Luc. I know this. This is not something I’ve fucking forgot.”

Adam was thinking that there was a girl who loved Nigel. She said yes. They married. Beth slept with him. They did things together. She said goodbye. She said I’m not going with you. Goodbye. She said. She said. She. She. She didn’t marry him. But Nigel had a girl. She married Nigel. Adam’s eyes felt itchy. 

“And this is a picture taken at the dam.” Luc pointed at the screen, “This is Nigel, here is Gabi and this is Charlie Countryman. Here is a picture of Gabi and Charlie’s wedding.” Adam looked up. “Here is a picture of their license.”

Nigel, “This sounds like a speech.” He glared at Luc. Tears rolled down Adam’s cheeks. The two men did not notice.

“Oh, I’ve had to do this once or twice. Remember the card.”

 

Nigel looked defeated. Adam was still stuck on Nigel’s wedding picture. That Gabi was in a second wedding picture, with somebody else, made no sense. He must have missed something. Gabi married Nigel.

 

“And here is a picture of your death certificate. You died Nigel.” Luc paused and let them take that in. Adam looked at the picture. Death Certificate was all he saw. Nothing made any sense! “Without Gabi, you didn’t want to live.” Luc flipped back to the picture of the dam, and pushed play. “So, you pulled out an imaginary gun, and this officer here shot you.” He turned on the sound and played it again. Adam heard the shot. He jumped. He watched Nigel falling to the ground. The film seemed long, and Luc played it a second and then a third time. Luc wanted a coffee. Sigh.

 

“You lied. You faked my death. Keeping me from returning. To Gabi.”

 

Luc sighed, Nigel always got stuck on that part. “You had been shot IN the HEAD.” In a quieter tone Luc continued, pointing at the screen, “See the ambulance. See how quickly it was there? Darko did that. At the hospital you were dead. Dead! Darko had one of his men threaten to kill every single person in the hospital, if they didn’t revive you. It worked. It fucking worked.” Luc started a strangled sort of laugh. “It fucking worked!” He stood up, staring at Nigel, “It fucking worked. You’re fucking alive.”

Nigel stood up. “I’m alive.” 

Adam said softly, as if in a dream, “Who are you?” Tears dripped onto his shirt, darkening it.

“And you have been taking care of me. I remember. Thank you Luc.” They hugged. Nigel and Luc flipped into Romanian, saying thank you and your welcome. Luc thought, ‘Again.’ Sigh.

 

Adam stared, without expression, at the two men. He trembled every so often and pulled his blanket closer around himself. He felt lightheaded and rolled onto his side. He tried to pull his feet up but, they didn’t quite fit on the armrest. He stared at the screen watching Nigel being shot.

 

“I have more to show you,” Luc pushed Adam upright.

“Don’t touch me.”

Luc sat next to Adam, “Sorry”, Nigel sat on Luc’s other side. Luc pushed the keyboard again. And played a video of Nigel pushing Adam out of the way of bikes and a car. “This was New Year’s Eve.” He played it again. Then he showed them a dashboard camera of Nigel holding Adam in the back seat. “I have an edited version” which enlarged the two men. Nigel was caressing Adam, as Adam gazed steadily up at him. Luc suddenly thought of the picture of the cat on the trains. Chessie?

 

Nigel looked around Luc at Adam, “I told you, there was a car.” He saw the tears, and looked away.

“So, you remember?” Asked Luc. Nigel wanted a cigarette. “That’s good. And this one.” He started a recording of Nigel sitting at the table, with Adam wearing a shirt, sitting on his lap. They were looking at each other as Nigel ate. Nigel was running his hand up and down on Adam’s stomach. Adam wound an arm around Nigel’s neck.

 

Adam let out a cry of grief.

“Wait, wait,” pleaded Luc. Adam started struggling to get up. “Watch this one, this video was from last night, in the car.” Luc pushed play. Adam slumped, rocking forward and backwards.

 

Nigel was speaking slowly with lots of pauses, “I want to buy a house for Adam. I love him. I want to be with him. We need a bigger place. So we can live together. I don’t want him taking a fucking bus to work. Find a place near to this place where he works. Do whatever it fucking takes.” Nigel looked out the window, in other languages he said something about cigarettes.

 

Luc fast forwarded, to when he was asking Nigel, “Boss, you just met this guy?’

 

“You don’t understand Adam, then.” Nigel stared out the window. “True. I’ve never fucked a guy before. Fuck, I’ve never kissed a guy. Not like that. Fuck, Luc. Adam is not like people. People lie. They are full of feelings underneath. Greed. They hide who they are. They will do anything. Say anything. Whatever to get whatever they want. Gabi was honest. Right up until she filed for divorce. Fuck. I handed her her fucking pistol and she didn’t fucking shoot him. Adam would have shot him.”

 

Adam watching the video saw an expression on Nigel’s face, one he had never seen before.

 

“I don’t want to lose Adam. Adam is the only truly honest person I’ve ever met. I think he loves me too.” Nigel shifted on the seat and hugged himself. He appeared to fall asleep.

Luc stopped the video. He looked at Nigel and then Adam. “Nigel do you remember this happening?”

“No. Yes. It feels like a dream.” He sat next to Adam, moving Luc out of the way. Adam was looking everywhere except at Nigel.

Nigel tried to wipe Adam’s face. Adam jerked away, “Don’t touch me.”

Nigel stood up and started pacing. Every so often he’d look at Adam. Then out the window, then the floor, and back to Adam. 

“How long?” Adam asked Luc. Luc sat back next to him. 

“Long time. After they revived him, there were a series of operations. Partly to fix the bone.” He waved towards the top of his own head. “The Doc’s put him under. A medical coma. And we moved him to France. When he came, he woke, he was moved to New York. On a boat. There is a lot of legal stuff, if we had tried to fly him. Anyway we got him in New York, and. Look I made a graph.” He typed a bit.

“How long before he forgets?”

 

“Right. See every time he forgot. There is a dot. In the beginning. He forgot every day. I know because he asked me to call him by his first name, because he didn’t know it. Every single day. I had the Doctor mis-pronounce his last name, and he didn’t appear to notice. Until here. And then here he started walking. He recovered his motor functions rather quickly. He just slept a lot.” He looked up. Nigel was staring at him. “Ah.” Luc stood up.

Adam said, “So, the last time was a month ago.”

“Yes.” Luc was afraid to turn away from Nigel, “High stress seems to cause it.” He tried to move away from Nigel in a ‘natural’ way. Then he thought getting between Nigel and Adam, was a foolish move. “Who knew love could be so stressful?”

 


	3. How do we get back to what we had? Part one.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam is the captain.

“Adam. Adam. My Adam. Wow.” He scratched his head. Feelings, emotions from yesterday’s ‘fun’ flooded Nigel, leaving him feeling warm and good. He didn’t want to lose Adam. Not like he lost Gabi. But he didn’t do anything. He just forgot. But now he remembered. So everything should be okay. “Is there anything I can do? Anything you want, I’ll give it to you.” Nigel looked so sincere.

“I want you to go away.” Adam looked distracted.

                                                               

 Nigel looked sick like, he was being careful when he said, “Forever?”

Adam rocked for a while, “I don’t know. I don’t know what I want.” 

“I will do this, for you Adam.” He turned to the door, he stopped again, “If you ever change your mind, please call Luc.” And Nigel was gone.

                                       

Adam began to panic.

Luc looked around the room, thinking. He sat besides the man hugging him through the thickest, heaviest blanket, ever.

Eventually Adam sat thinking. They both looked at the laptop at about the same time. Luc brightened up, then realized Adam was most likely unaware. “When you want, I will show you pictures of myself and Nigel, taken when we traveled from New York to here.” Adam did not respond. “Are you thirsty, Adam?”

“I can take care of myself.”

“That’s true. Adam, I am thirsty, please offer me a drink.”

“Oh.” Luc helped Adam to crawl out from his heavy blanket. He folded it and put it away.

Adam rubbed his face, then went into the bathroom and washed the tears off his face. He shut the door. When he was done he came back and looked around. Drinks always have too many options. He looked in the refrigerator, even though he knew what was in it. Luc walked to the kitchen door.

“May I have a glass of water, please?” Luc tried to speak softly.

Adam opened the cupboard, he went back and shut the refrigerator. And blushed at making such a simple mistake. He looked at the glasses. Cold water goes in these glasses. Hot water goes in cups. He took a glass and filled it at the tap. He gave it to Luc.

“Thank you, Adam.”

“Your welcome, Luc. It’s lunchtime.”

“Do you have a lunch, to eat?”

“Yes.” Adam knew Luc left and came back with his and Nigel’s lunch yesterday. Finally he said, “You left and came back with your lunch, yesterday? Are you doing that today?”

Luc thought about his answer, “Yes. Do you want Nigel to eat with us at the same time?” 

“No.” Adam walked to the window, he saw Nigel outside, pacing. He watched for a while. “He is still in the doghouse,” Adam smiled. “But, he can eat dinner with us.” 

 


	4. Interlude.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luc picks up some lunch.
> 
> Nigel has no problem taking out his inner anger on someone. Especially someone who has no problem abusing others.
> 
> Luc leaves Nigel at a restaurant.

Luc and Nigel were on the way, to the same restaurant, that he’d used the day before. “Bad news, you’re in the ‘dog house’, good news, Adam smiled when he said it.” Luc looked at Nigel, “and you may join us for dinner.” He turned his attention back on the road. “I want you to tell me what you did to that boy.”

“Man.”

A heartbeat went by, Luc slammed on the breaks, “I am not staying, if you abused him.” 

”I didn’t do anything to him. What we did we did together.” He looked back at Luc. 

“I like Adam. I’ll call Darko, he can find somebody else to be your”, (nurse? Bodyguard? Friend?) Luc decided on Chauffeur when he saw someone close to the car’s rear passenger door. “Fuck.” The guy knocked on Nigel’s window. Nigel pushed the window’s button.

“What do you think you two assholes are doing? Parking in the middle of the road?” Came out in a big rush. Nigel summed him up in one second. This was a guy who didn’t get enough sleep. He was a guy who was used to being the one who abused everyone around him. Any little perceived mistake, and he loved ramming it down people’s throats.

 

Luc saw the asshole was about to do something. Maybe slap Nigel. He would never know.

Nigel went right thru the window. Luc thought, awesome! And then; this is bad!

The two men disappeared from Luc’s view. Luc got out, leaving his door open and went to the car behind him. He glanced at Nigel, he couldn’t quite see, but, Nigel appeared to give the guy a slap. As if he had passed out.

Luc took in the people in the car. They were kids. One driving, two in the back. “Hello.” He waited, “Please roll down the window.” The driver lowered it less than halfway. “You’re just kids. What are you, in high school?”

“College.”

“Yeah, where do you go?” 

“Chicago.” 

“So, you’re here for the parade.” They nodded. (Kids!) “No wait, you were IN the parade.”

More nods, “Yeah. We’re in the band.” 

“Cool.” Luc checked on Nigel, and up and down the street, and turned back to the driver, “So, your heading out now?” There was a noise, they all turned towards Nigel. 

Nigel was peeing on the guy. Luc thought of a bunch of things at the same time. Disappointment. Resignation. Admiration for Nigel’s ability to come up with creative solutions. How soon can we get out of here. How can I get these kids on my side. And lastly, was anyone in any of these houses calling the police? Nigel after all, did have his dick out. 

 

“Yeah. We have to meet my mom, with the camper,” said the driver, his voice trailing off, and with a deer in the headlights look. 

“Okay. See the hose up there?” Seriously! all three looked at the house with a garden hose,  Luc smiled. “You might want to hose him down,or it’s going to reek in there, (he patted the roof of the car), the entire trip home. Go, go, go. Before he gets up.” The boy in the back jumped out. Nigel was doing that hip move, putting away his junk.

“Ew, that’s disgusting”, said a girl in the back. Luc jumped internally, he hadn’t seen her. She’d been ducking down behind the front seats.

Luc flung his hands out, like he was holding an imaginary watermelon, “Well, he just broke up with his OTP. He’s a little,” he dropped his left hand, and rotated his right, like a seesaw, “Hey, maybe we should give'm some flowers? Or something?” He shrugged. 

The girl said, “If it’s really bad, jewelry. Ok, I’m just saying.” Nigel was getting in the car. 

“Good idea,” he patted the roof again, “great idea,” he pointed at her. “You have a safe trip.”

 

Luc returned to his car, got in and pulled away. No sirens. 

Nigel looked out the rear window, eventually he laughed. He smiled, “You got them to hose down the guy?”

“Was there any blood?” Nigel didn’t stop smiling.

 

The reached the restaurant, Luc parked in the back. Inside Nigel used the bathroom to wash up, then rejoined Luc, who was seated near the front. The place was busy.

They sat, and looked out the window at the traffic. Luc noticed the drone of the heavy traffic outside, and the people talking inside. During the parade, there had been only the distant sound of horns and bands playing. He began quietly, “You tell me now. Or I’m out. Out. If you hurt that boy.”

“Man. No. I didn’t hurt him.” Nigel wanted a cigarette.

“Can you even remember? If you did or not?” 

“It feels like a dream.” A slow smile came over Nigel’s face as he remembered. The waitress arrived, “Coffee, please.”

”Coffee, and water. Please.” 

“Are you ready to order?” She looked at Nigel.

“Steak an eggs,” Nigel went back to looking out the window. She looked at Luc, he nodded in return. She smiled at him, took the menus and left. She remembered the “just like the picture”, guy.

“He had no pants on.” They eyed each other, like equals. Luc never spoke to Nigel this way in Romania.

 

She returned with two coffees. Both men said, thank you. She left. 

Abruptly, Nigel got up and used the facilities, again. He looked at himself in the mirror. Fuck he wanted a cigarette. He paced the little room. What, was pissing Luc off? What is so wrong with being with Adam? He could hear his laugh. Looking into his eyes. He’s so beautiful. The thought, the memory of Adam, calmed Nigel down. Suddenly, Nigel was angry. He’d loved Gabi. And then he couldn’t be with her. She didn’t love him anymore. A customer entered the bathroom, who Nigel ignored. He started washing his hands. He loves Adam, and because of his own stupid memory, Adam wanted him to leave. He wanted to break something. He used more soap and had quite a lather going, before he rinsed and left.

When Nigel returned, Luc’s cup was empty and they now had glasses of water. Luc refused to meet his eyes. The waitress refilled Luc’s cup. Nigel noticed she liked Luc. That was fast. “All I remember, was it was fun. We had fun.” He saw Luc’s reaction. 

Luc could imagine many, many things Nigel found fun, “Fun? Like pissing on someone.”

“Hey, that guy was pissed, so I pissed on him.” He shrugged. Nigel smiled, “We kept our hands in our pockets the whole time.” Nigel looked out the window, “He likes skin on skin. So, we took a shower together.I washed his hair. He washed mine. I even washed his pubes, without touching..” he raised up his index finger. We kissed. We hugged. We dried each other’s hair.

 

“How did you get the scratches on your back?”

Nigel laughed, “No, no. He sat on my butt, bouncing.” Looking sheepish, “He ran his fingers down my back.”  

“And the bruises? 

“Ah.” Nigel looked around, thinking. He smiled, “Must have been when I carried him around.”

”I saw those bruises on his thighs.”

Rightously defending himself, “We twirled around. I didn’t want to drop him. It must have been when he started to fall.” 

”And his arm?”

“Honest I don’t know. We did whatever he wanted. Relax. It was fun. Even our kisses were” he paused again. The waitress handed Luc his bag and bill, he handed her a twenty, and the bill. She returned to the register. Luc stood up. “chaste.” Luc rolled his eyes as he walked away.

 

 


	5. Luc has lunch with Adam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luc drops Nigel off at the restaurant, then joins Adam at his place for lunch. Adam thinks over Nigel’s memory loss.

Luc knocked and moved in view of the window. Adam opened the door, “I already ate.”

“Hey, Adam. That’s okay.” He set down the bag, “It always takes longer when you have to wait for a restaurant to make your food.” He emptied the bag. The waitress had put a second coffee in the bag. Nice. “What do you usually do? Now?”  

Adam said, “It goes on a plate.” Luc noticed Adam had a habit of standing still while he was what? Thinking or worried? Maybe undecided. 

“Okay. Thank you.” They transferred the lunch from the styrofoam to a plate. Luc wanted to eat, instead he drank his coffee. Two sugars, like he liked. Nice. Something? “Oh. Okay. In a mug.” He took the mug Adam was handing him. “It’s the little things.” 

“Aren’t you going to eat?” Adam asked and tried not to watch Luc eat. But, it was nothing like watching Nigel eat. He didn’t realize it but he was getting agitated. Adam’s expression, though subtle, told Luc he was about to enter the dog house. 

“Why didn’t you remind Nigel of everything, about me, before you came here. Before you visited me?”

“I honestly. I didn’t know. Remember the graph?” Adam nodded. “Well, its been a whole month.” He waved his fork full of steak away from himself, nodding. He ate the bite. Thinking words work best with this guy. He started over, “I cannot tell from looking at Nigel if he has forgotten something or forgotten what happened, ah, within the last day or so.” He ate another bite. They looked at each other for the briefest of seconds. Adam got his computer and started looking up memory loss. 

Luc ate. Adam typed and read. Luc finished. Adam typed and read. Luc washed his plate and silverware and put them away. Adam typed and read. Luc sat and drank his coffee. And waited with the patience of a bodyguard.

 

Luc got himself a refill of water and sat. Adam closed his computer. Adam stared off into the distance. For an hour! Luc used the bathroom. Adam used the bathroom. 

“There is no trigger?”

“Maybe, sometimes a stressful situation, might cause Nigel to sort of re-set to the time before the event.” He shook his head sadly, “Not always. I.”

Adam wondered what part was always. Always stress or Always re-sets. Or always to a time before, maybe it was two days earlier? A month earlier? He decided not to ask. He stood up, looking out the window a bit, he stretched, “So, I have to check each day to see if he remembers. But what if he is away from me? Or you? What if he forgets everything? Where he is?” 

“Adam. Meeting you was good. Good for you. Good for Nigel. Stressful interactions with people are not usually good and, and enjoyable. Adam, I usually am with him all the time.” Luc watched the minutes tick by.

 

“Nigel is alone. Right now?” 

“He is alone in a restaurant. Eating his lunch.” FML No, it wasn’t that bad. Look how routine things became at the Yoder’s place. If we had a house here. Things would become routine. He thanked God above for the Yoders again. He washed out his mug and put it away. He wondered if the DMV was open. Not. He wondered if he could get away and check into the Langham. Wait. Maybe Adam would go with him? Wait, take Adam, pick up Nigel, check in at the Langham. It could work. I just have to check into a fucking hotel, so I have a place to sleep tonight. Because, well fuck, what are the odds Nigel stays with Adam tonight. Fuck. I’m not sleeping on the sofa, it is too short. And I don’t need to see Nigel carrying Adam around the living room stark naked.

“Adam.” Luc waited until Adam at least faced in his direction. “There are two things I must do today.” Adam’s expression changed, but not a lot. “I must pick Nigel up from the restaurant.” He paused, it seemed like a good idea. “I must check into the Langham Hotel.” Luc hoped this worked. Sentences with a two nouns and a verb. He distracted himself with the thought. What was the verb? Up? English as a second language classes in New York, THE English as a second language classes, he’d taken while waiting for Nigel, helped a lot with talking, but, he didn’t know enough to pass an exam. American’s flip their sentences out of order. To the store I drive. I drive to the store. When in doubt add a the. You can never have too many the’s. What ever. He suddenly realized Adam was what? Waiting? Oh.

“Adam please go with me to pick up Nigel, and then go to the hotel to check in. Please.” Adam didn’t say anything. “Nigel and I will sleep in the hotel.” Still nothing. Um. “Now.” 

“Okay. Thank you for asking me to go with you.” 

Eureka.

“We must go to a tattoo parlor. I found three. Because Nigel might not like one.” Luc blinked.

 


	6. Adam makes peace with Nigel

Luc took a different route to the restaurant. He didn’t want any of the neighbors to become used to his comings and goings. He entered the restaurant with Adam. Nigel and Adam came together like magnets. Oblivious to the world. Luc watching them, wearing a Mona Lisa smile, looked over at the waitress. She was watching him. Oops, “What is the bill?” She gave it to him, with her own Mona Lisa smile. WHaT?

They left and drove to the Langham Huntington with Luc feeling very much like a chauffeur. 

 

“We have to talk.” Said Adam.

“Later, gorgeous.” Said Nigel.

“You have to do something.” Said Adam.

“Later, my love.” Said Nigel.

“When later?” Asked Adam. Long pause, Luc checked his mirror. Kissing.

“After the hotel.”

Luc thought of his ESL class. These two! Were a delight. They arrived.

Adam liked the plants. Nigel didn’t care about anything but Adam. Luc loved the service.

The receptionist saw three men, but was told only two, and not the two hugging each other were checking in for an indefinite stay. Okay. At least a week. Okay. They were over six foot tall, so two king beds? Okay. They had the luggage taken up to the room without bothering to lookat the room or check the view. They left. Okay, thought the receptionist.

“Now?”

“Wait.” Nigel hugged Adam in the backseat as if they had been separated for a month. Holding him close, looking at his face. He kissed him. He ran his hand thru his hair. Luc was sure neither of them wore their safety belts.

“Now,” Nigel whispered softly.

“I want you to wear a tattoo.”

“Okay. Anything.”

“Anything.”

“Yes. Any tattoo you want.” 

“When?”

“Now.” They looked at each other. Adam kept looking anywhere but directly into Nigel’s eyes. Nigel waited with a smile with no teeth. They sat like that, until they arrived at the business. It helped that Luc already knew where they were going. Adam had given him the list, back at his place. 

Luc said, “Wait here. Please.” He went inside and checked the place out. Nigel let his eyes stray to Adam’s mouth, thereby giving Adam time to look at his eyes. Nigel found it strangely exciting.

Luc came back and drove to the next location. Again Luc left, and came back. He drove to the third place. This time he came back and opened the back seat door for the two men. Because I am the chauffeur!

                                       

As they crossed the threshold Nigel seemed to physically change. Feral, on the prowl. Hard eyes, to which Adam was oblivious. He spent a minute or two watching each artist. How they held the needle, how they drew the line, their style. And something else.. their confidence. Two of them looked up briefly, saw Nigel and went back to work. The one in front, stopped altogether, “Have a seat, someone will get to you when we’re done.”If Nigel’s eyes were lasers, the man would be skinless. 

Luc said in Romanian, “The one in back?” Nigel looked at him and Luc walked over to the artist in back. The one who did not look up. Luc knelt down to look up into the customers face, “Hello. My friend, wants my other friend, to get a tattoo. They are impatient fucks.” He took out a wad of cash, and peeled off a five twenties. “I think your time is important.” He waited and added two more bills. “I’m not asking you to leave, just wait a bit, until they are done. Or one of the other artists is available.”

“You’re gonna pay me, to go first?” Luc shrugged in reply, raised the hand with the money, and added another twenty. “How much?” Luc put the rest away. 

“Maybe enough to pay for your tattoo.”

“Okay.” He reached over and took the money. The artist sat up looking at Luc, while the customer climbed off the chair, and went to the front to wait. Then he saw Nigel and stiffened. Nigel took off his long sleeved shirt. The artist had seen his type before. He didn’t even swear internally. He waited carefully, listened, and did what he was told. 

The customer in front stood up to get a better view. As Nigel rotated towards the customer, he promptly sat.

The artist nodded, cleaned his station and got everything ready. Then looked at Nigel. 

“What tattoo would you like me to wear, my love.” 

“Want you to write; I belong to Adam Raki.” 

Nigel almost couldn’t breath. He thought it would be some animal. Or flower. Maybe a heart with an arrow. He had a flood of emotions. He loved this guy. He shut his eyes for a moment. “Where?”

“On your arm, so you will always see it. Just in case you forget.” The artist wrongly assumed that Nigel needed to be reminded because he was sleeping around. Luc thought it was an excellent idea. Much better than; My name is Nigel please return to.. Adam Raki? That would be hideous.

English or Romanian? Nigel decided English. “What color?” Adam was stuck. What color would be the best? “What’s your favorite color?” The artist gave no input, he was not a part of this conversation. If he was in a cage, it was with a wild animal, and he wasn’t doing anything to set it off. 

“What do you like the most?”

Adam looked at Nigel, with a ghost of a smile, “You.”

                                                                 

Nigel smiled back.

Luc remembered the telescope and the book titles, “You know the nighttime sky is black. And the moon is white, and the sun is yellow. And mars is red.”

Adam thought obviously. Why is Luc talking about planets? Luc continued, “Which is your favorite, and use that color.”

“The sun. It’s the most important, without it we would not be here.”

“Maybe the yellow is surrounded by black, the black sky.”

“The sky isn’t black. That is the color of the universe.” 

“Should the tattoo be yellow surrounded by black?”

“No. Blue. Like the planet earth.”

The artist got his colors ready, pointing to a tattoo Nigel was already wearing, “This style?”

“Da. Okay.” 

“Same size?”

“Larger. Start here and end here.” 

The artist handed over a piece of paper. Write on here what you want. Adam took it and wrote it out.

 “The A and the R will be larger than the rest.” He waited for Nigel’s approval. Nigel nodded yes. “Maybe more ornate.” Again Nigel nodded yes.The artist took the pencil and waved it over Nigel’s arm, working out the size and placement of the letters.He drew a sketch and laid it on Nigel’s forearm.

Nigel looked at Adam, “How will that look Adam?”

“That looks good.” 

The artist got ready, put on some black gloves, started the machine and began freehand drawing the words on Nigel. 

Adam saw the blood.

 


	7. Tattoos and dinner.

Adam knew the tattoo artist used a noisy machine. This one was making Nigel bleed. The artist wiped the blood away from Nigel’s forearm. Adam moved closer. He moved right up next to Nigel. Nigel wrapped his left arm around Adam’s waist. Adam placed his right arm around Nigel’s shoulders.

“It’s all right. This is how it’s done.” Nigel tried to soothe Adam’s fears. “Kiss me.” Their lips barely touched. Nigel knew, Adam wasn’t doing good. “Luc.” The buzzing continued. And suddenly Adam wasn’t okay.

He heard the buzzing as if it was in his brain. He saw the blood and knew Nigel was in pain. Unaware of his own movements. Unaware of his own screams. He was trapped. Trapped. Tighter and tighter. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t breathe. He closed his eyes. He began to dream. In his blanket. The scent of Nigel. In Nigel’s arms. Lightheaded and woosey. Floating. He fell asleep.

Nigel laid Adam down on the back seat of the car. Nigel looked at Luc, “Thank you.” Luc nodded and drove Adam home.

Nigel went back inside. The tattoo artist now had a different opinion of the hard man who first came into the shop. The pushy, passing out money, to be worked on NOW, became a guy with a best friend. A friend who has limits.

He saw a guy who did not push his friend to make decisions. A guy who honored his friends requests. A guy who knew what to do when his friend had a meltdown. He had wrapped his arms around his friend. Legs tight on legs. Head tight on head. Softly singing. Nigel had stood fully upright, pulling Adam up off his feet. And carried him outside.

Returning inside, Nigel sat. The artist looked him over, “Do you want anything to drink?”

“No. Thank you.”

The tattoo artist tilted his head a bit, studying Nigel’s neck tat. That had to have hurt. A girl with fishnet stockings. The lines define the curves of the legs. Easy mistake to make them look like diamonds. She was a beautiful tat.

“Ready?” He said to Nigel, knowing he was ready. It was more of a ‘I’m going to start now’ now that you’ve calmed a bit, type of ready.

He did his best on this tat, knowing it was for the friend. Adding a little touch of dark red to shadow the A and R. Added a touch of black to the rest of the script. Worked on the yellow so it would appear to curve out from the skin. “It is finished.”

Nigel looked at it. The artist changed his opinion again. Nigel was not judging the tat, not looking for imperfections to complain about, instead he was enjoying it. “Thank you.” He stood up, took out a wad of cash and peeled off a number of bills, pressed them into the artists hand and left. The artist felt strangely happy. He prepared to finish his prior customer, thinking over what he’d have to do, if the friend was ever to have a tat. Private appointment and old school. No machines. Maybe even get his doctor friend in here to give the guy a local.

 

Nigel carefully slid his arm into his sleeve, then finished putting on the shirt. He lit a cigarette, waiting for Luc. He walked to the front of the building and over to the corner. Luc drove up. He got in. “Thanks. Let’s find a store with bandages.” He also bought an Icy/cold pack to help with the swelling. Anything to keep Adam from wigging out.

“Let’s get dinner, first.”

“Yes. Okay. But, something different this time.”

“Pasta primavera?”

Nigel looked at him, “Number one pasta.” Luc grinned.

“The best pasta.”

“And a steak. What’s Vera?”

“A girl in Italy. I think.” They laughed together.

Inside Nigel used the bathroom, to go wrap up his forearm. So Adam couldn’t see it? He crushed the ice pack and held it on with more of the ace bandage. Fixed his shirt, threw away the trash, used the toilet, washed his hands and looked at himself in the mirror. He compared his own pale straw hair to Adams’ chocolate brown. Just like his eyes. Deep chocolate brown. Adam’s ears reminded him of oyster shells. Most of all, Adam is honest, there is a truth to him.  How can he love me? All I’ve done is hurt him. Frighten him. Crestfallen he turned from the mirror, went thru the door and was back to being Nigel.

When the food was ready, they returned to Adam.

 

Adam was up. Making mac & cheese. He answered the door. Luc thought; progress. Nigel thought; relief that Adam is apparently okay. Does he still want to be with me? Adam thought; hello. Adam said, “Hello.” Then stopped in mid-stride; Nigel came back. Did he get the tattoo? Is he bleeding? Is he in pain? What is happening now? I don’t want to leave. It is time to eat my dinner. He said, “It’s time to eat dinner.”

“It is.” Nigel wanted to ask Adam questions. Realized he wanted to ask questions, so that he himself would feel better, and so he said nothing.

Luc unpacked the food, “Oops, my mistake, I forgot drinks.” He deserved water again, he’d been talking to the waitress. Rats! Well, now I know to transfer everything to plates.

They sat. Three men eating together. Two of them kept watching each other. The third one, watched their interaction. Luc thought; It’s the little things. Suddenly he believed Nigel, when he said they had played horsey. Wait, was Adam on Nigel’s back, or being held in front? What did the bruising imply? Luc debated the point with himself for the rest of the meal.


	8. Morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Picture of a nude male. "David" carved out of marble by Michelangelo.

January 3

A winter morning in Pasadena.

Luc stretched in bed. This was a nice place. He opened the curtains. Back in bed, hugging his knees, he found himself thinking about Nigel. This was the first night he’d slept alone in eight or nine months. Sigh. Eight months of thinking about Nigel’s health. What he ate. How much sleep he got. Attempting to keep him from smoking and drinking. Trying to keep him occupied with exercise. He thought the endless driving was both good and bad.

He dressed and took a walk on the grounds. He needed to have something to do, something to think about, that was not a part of Nigel. Hiding behind the San Gabriel’s, the sun lit the place in a long morning twilight. Luc exercised, showered, ordered two breakfasts to go and headed for Adam’s place.

 

Adam woke up feeling his bed and his Pj’s. And jumped seeing Nigel next to him. His bedroom did not have light blocking curtains, as in the Langham. Nigel was backlit in a pale yellow glow. It was time to get up. But he liked looking at Nigel sleeping. Nigel’s eyes opened slowly. And shut again.

Nigel moved closer to Adam and felt his fuzzy Pj’s, he knew there was a word for that type of fabric. And didn’t care that he didn’t know it. He tickled Adam. Adam giggled.

Nigel was pleasantly surprised, Adam was the real deal. He had heard many fake giggles in his life. Adam said, “No. Stop.” Nigel stopped immediately. Eyes shut Nigel moved closer to Adam and began kissing his shoulder and neck. Adam’s hand came up, into Nigel’s hair, then stopped, “Nigel?”

Breathy and deep with sleep, “Yes, my love?”

Adam was caught between what he was seeing and that Nigel had called him, ‘My Love’. Nigel kissed his ear and the side of his face.

“Nigel?’

Nigel gave a sleepy, breathy, “Yes?” His chest rumbled. He kissed Adam on the mouth. It was a good, long kiss. Nigel opened his eyes. Adam’s eyes were now shut. His face was relaxed. Nigel moved to Adam’s neck and kissed him several more times.

“Nigel?” Adam placed his hand on Nigel’s shoulder.

“Yes, My Love?”

“You’re supposed to wear pajamas. Where are your pajamas?”

“You told me I was not to sleep in my clothes.”

“Yes.”

“You told me to get in your Pj’s.”

“Yes. The white ones.”

“They are too small for me. I was being strangled.” With a crooked smile, “But, you wanted me to be in them.”

“Yes.”

Nigel stood up, revealing the Pj’s crumpled on the bed, “So I slept with the bottoms under me and the top over me.” Adam tried not to stare. Nigel posed.

                                                        

Nigel waited watching Adam. Adam gave it up and stared. Adam thought of a whole lot of things. And ended up on the one time he’d seen somebody looking at the flowers in the park, in New York. They had said, “They are all so beautiful.”

“Beautiful.” Adam said the word with almost no inflection. As if the thought had escaped his body.

Nigel stopped thinking. Some weird feeling flooded in his chest. It felt like a pain that didn’t hurt and he was covered in sweat. Seconds went by. He breathed. He curled up next to Adam, holding him, caressing him.

Nobody, had ever called Nigel beautiful. Ever.

 

Luc knocked on the door. Nigel opened the door, wearing yesterday’s pants. Oops.


	9. January 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A parade without the parade part!

Breakfast was an exact replica of yesterday’s breakfast. Adam ate cereal. Luc and Nigel ate food out of containers, transferred to plates. Luc forgot drinks, water again! When they were done cleaning up, Luc told the two others his idea, “There is a display of the floats, from the parade, on one of the streets, the Sierra Madre Boulevard. The street is closed to vehicles. There is a wide grassy area running the length of the Sierra Madre Boulevard.” Luc thought it a good idea to put these two on neutral ground. Get to know each other outside of this apartment. They waited a while for Adam to think it over. Adam opened his iPad, typed, left it open to a page showing the Boulevard, with the floats parked down one side. 

“I have to brush my teeth.” Adam left.

Oops. Luc made a mental note. Well, he’d have time for more snooping. He went in the kitchen and took pictures of Adam’s cupboards, freezer, and inside the refrigerator. Nigel looked over to watch him. “I’m thinking of buying what he’s running low on, and maybe stocking a few things, we might like to have. Here. Should I bring your clothes here? Or maybe buy you a new toothbrush?” Nigel looked away, as Adam re-entered the living room.

“What are you thinking? Was I gone too long?” Adam addressed Nigel with barely a smile, “Do you remember who I am?”

Nigel smiled and unwound the bandage from his arm, revealing the tattoo, “I belong to Adam Raki.” Luc threw the containers  in the trash. He stayed in the kitchen and washed his hands. He didn’t want to watch Nigel and Adam grinning at each other. He looked at Adam’s chores list. Tomorrow, Saturday, had him cleaning, doing laundry, and buying groceries. Normally today was a work day. The thought, to ask Adam why he had the day off, never occurred to him. Helping Adam with his chores looked exactly like the type of thing that would not be appreciated.

Luc looked at Nigel, leaning against the wall, he’d finished dressing. The shirt was? Oh, it’s one of Adam’s. He had to admit, the tight shirt showed off Nigel’s torso. Did Nigel know? He looked Nigel in the eyes. Nigel pushed away from the wall. Nigel knew.

                                                

Inwardly Nigel groaned, “Luc we will drive past this float,” he paused, “exhibition. And If we like it. We will stay and look at the floats.”

Luc knew Nigel meant if he liked the ‘security’ of the place. Why Adam liked or trusted Nigel, Luc didn’t yet know. How could this happen so fast? True love?

                          

Nigel approved of the place, he looked at Luc a few times saying, “Good idea.” And later, “I’m glad we came.” Adam liked the floats, “I like the floats. Thank you, for bringing us here, Luc.”

The weather was balmy, but Luc and Nigel wore their coats anyway. The crowds were spread out into long streamers, on both sides of the floats. They walked on the grassy side. Adam had fun looking at the logistics of the floats that had moving parts. Some had the tallest parts locked upright. And others had their oversized structures lowered, either to the front or the back. Adam started working out how they worked, and liked the engineering of them.

Luc felt exposed in the giant expanse. He looked around, and realized what was missing. The Rose Bowl Parade had been an experience, with lots of people having fun. And bands playing. And horses pulling floats and carriages. The noise and excitement was missing. He watched Nigel listening to Adam explaining something to do with a floats mechanism. The third, or fourth time he caught Nigel’s expression, he knew. Nigel was not patiently listening. He was not waiting for Adam to finish his explanation. He was enjoying being with, and listening to, Adam.

  

Every so often Adam caught the ‘I’ of Nigel’s tattoo, and smiled shyly. Nigel noticed and took off his coat. He then pointed to an animal’s head, high above them, and liked seeing the surprise on Adam’s face, at seeing the whole tattoo.

                                                     

Adam looking up at Nigel’s arm, moved around him. They were very close to each other. Adam stepped over Nigel’s foot and gave him a ‘public’ sort of hug. Arms only. Nigel caught his breath. Adam turned and continued looking at the floats. Unaware of the significance in Romania, of stepping over another’s foot. Nigel thought back, he had told this beautiful man, that he was his Captain. And he was.

Nigel looked over at Luc. Luc had noticed. But today was not February 24, Dragobete day.

An hour went by, Luc suggested he bring the car around and meet them at the far end. Nigel replied, with a nod and a thank you.

As Luc returned, Nigel left Adam’s side, “Adam doesn’t want to go out for dinner. He prefers Mac & cheese made at home.” 

“I noticed that, that is all he has in his freezer.” 

“He seems okay, with being here on the grass. Maybe a picnic, tomorrow or sometime.” Nigel shrugged, saw Luc’s expression and turned to look back at Adam. Adam was with a girl.

She was younger than Adam and had asked him, “How do you like the floats?” And waited for his answer with one arm behind her back, slowly swinging back and forth.

Adam was sure this was a trick question, the type people were always asking him. He liked them? Did she want to discuss them? The engineering that makes them work? The history of the parade? How does one like something? Capturing their beauty in a picture? Committing the image to memory? Was he supposed to pick out a favorite? What was the meaning behind the presentation of each float? He was starting to feel a little panicked, when he saw Nigel looking at him. 

Nigel had adopted the same pose from this morning. Adam forgot to think about an answer.

Lucreplied, “I’ll look for a place.” Wait. What? Why was Adam blushing? He looked back at Nigel, fearful. Nigel looking at Adam, was absently scratching his shoulder. Luc didn’t get it. Adam was red all the way down his throat and up into his hairline. They drifted towards Adam. Nigel moved between the girl and Adam, placed an arm on Adam’s shoulder and Adam his arm around Nigel’s waist. They walked in the direction of the car.

Adam heard Luc talking to the girl, and ignored them. “Nigel?”

“Yes, my love?”

“She asked me, “How do you like the floats?"

Nigel laughed, “That’s how people talk when they don’t know someone.” He laughed again. The three of them got into the car and drove away. “Here is another sentence people who don’t know somebody say, “What do you think of the floats?” He loved Adam’s expression.

Luc listened in, thinking, with growing amusement, they’re teenagers. Going through puberty? Then again, they both had a failed relationship with a woman. That doesn’t make someone suddenly change. They must be giving something the other needs. What do they need? What are they giving? Horsey? Seriously? They’re playing with each other. Can a brain injury do this to a person? Is it safer being with a guy, because he can’t get hurt again? Then again, guys can marry in this country. So can girls. Come to think of it, had he met any? How would he know? What does he care? He parked. 

Inside the apartment. They all sat down. With nothing to do. Too early for dinner. Time to talk? 

Luc began, “Adam, I don’t know anything about you. But, to ask somebody about themselves is rude, without first telling them about yourself.” He paused to be polite. When Adam glanced briefly at him, he continued, “I was born in a small town right next to Bucharest in Romania. I have two sisters. Both married. My father changed jobs and I ended up in Bucharest. I was sent to school. I did okay.” He paused again.

“What did you study?” Adam asked, fearful of asking the wrong question.

“Medicine.”

“What kind of Doctor are you?”

“Ah. I did not graduate. There were things that happened. Family problems. Mainly my father lost his job, due to bad health. And my family and I could no longer afford the cost. To cut a long story sort, now I work for Nigel.” Luc smiled at Nigel, “And I enjoy my job very much.”

Adam sat thinking; I could never be a Doctor, all those people you’d have to talk to. No. People talking to you without making any sense. Touching their bodies? No. No. Bleeding people. No. No. No, no, no. Adam abruptly went to the kitchen. Looked at his wristwatch, too early for dinner. 

Nigel thought over Luc’s speech and wondered where this was going. He had a fear that he himself would be the next topic of discussion. Ruefully he thought of his schoolroom teacher, “Everyone, this is Nigel.” Fuck. Nigel walked into the kitchen, cutting a look at Luc.

                       

“Luc is telling me about himself, because he wants to know about me?”

“He was trying to be polite. He just wondered about your Mom and Dad, your family. And if you have any brothers or sisters. He was trying to be polite.”

“I can’t talk about my work. I have a security clearance. I can’t talk about anything.”

“Okay,” said Nigel, mystified at the jump, from family to work.

Quietly, almost mumbling, Adam said looking down, “I wish I was normal.” He went to his bedroom. He put his badge and things from work into his book bag, and zipped it shut. He returned with his computer and opened it. Luc moved to a different chair. Adam sat, “This is all public information. This is Cal Tech, it’s like a university, but it’s the California Institute Of Technology . This is JPL. The Jet Propulsion Laboratory. It isn’t new, it’s been there since 1957, See NASA, is right on the sign.” Nigel and Luc looked at the page dutifully. “This is the public website. He went to the menu, “These are current missions. There are forty five.” The icons meant nothing to either of them. Adam saw the time, “It’s time for me to make my dinner.” He stood up, “You can keep looking.” He waved at the machine. He suddenly froze, thinking. “Am I supposed to invite you for dinner?”

“Do you know what I love about you the most?” Adam said nothing. Nigel stood up looking at Adam, “Your honesty.” Nigel led Adam back to the sofa.

Luc stood up, “I’ll be back.”

“Just sandwiches or something. Please.” Then Nigel turned back to Adam. Luc left. 

“I can talk about some things. But, why start talking about anything? I work at JPL. That’s it. Nothing else.”

“I think. When your no longer worried. We can make dinner together.” Adam’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh, Adam. Every time I look at you.” Nigel moved closer to Adam. He held him. One arm on his shoulder and the other hand on the side of his face. “Relax. Put your head back, on my arm.” Adam did, and not knowing what to do he shut his eyes. Nigel kissed his throat. He straddled him, reached around and kissed his far ear. “If I could crawl inside your skin, I would.” Adam’s hands stilled. His breathing became regular as much as it could when Nigel started kissing him on the lips. They looked into each other in the eyes. Nigel shut his eyes before Adam and kissed him again. He took a deep breath, “Shall we make dinner now?”

“Do you want to. Are you thinking. Are you as sexually turned on. As I am?”

“Possibly. Maybe more. Maybe less. I don’t know you well enough to know.” Adam studied Nigels face. Nigel bathed in his attention, loved him even more.

Nigel helped Adam up. In the kitchen he watched every move Adam made, while making dinner. They set the table together. As simple as the meal was, Nigel reveled in being a part of Adam’s life. 

Luc returned. And brought drinks this time. In-N-Out burgers. Luc bought extras. They unwrapped the burgers and set them on plates. They transferred the sodas to glasses. And spread the fries on the plates. Adam got faintly jittery, “What?” Asked Luc. Nigel put down his glass.

“You don’t cut your sandwich in half?” Inquired Adam sincerely. 

“I do now.” Laughing he cut the burger and decided to use his fork on the fries! Nigel cut his sandwich.

Adam ate his Mac & Cheese. Usually he read while he ate. He fidgeted. Luc was not about to ask a question. Nigel also thought it over, and decided Adam might just be thinking about sex. If he asked Adam if he was okay, that might embarrass him, since he always gave truthful answers. Adam had watched him eat. Yesterday. Putting a fork in your mouth was different than eating a sandwich. He watched to see where Adam was looking. Hm. Everywhere but him and Luc. Up to now, everything seemed easy. What he had done, turned out to be the right thing. But now? He was trying to come up with a solution. What would ease Adam’s nervousness? He was holding Adam in his lap, last time. He sighed and stopped eating. Adam picked up on it instantly. “Adam.”

“Yes. Nigel.”

“Adam. I wish you were sitting on my lap. Like yesterday.”

“Nigel, I wish I was sitting on your lap, also.” Luc choked. Nigel and Adam ignored him.

Nigel held out his arms, “Please sit on my lap.” 

“Okay.” Adam snuggled into Nigel’s lap. And only then did they move plates and glasses around.

They ate and cleaned up. And sat back at the table. 

Adam began, “I have a mother and a father. My mother died when I was eight. And my father died three years ago.”

“I am sorry.” Said Luc.

“I am sorry, Adam.” Said Nigel.

“I have no brothers or sisters. I don’t remember anyone else. Just Harem. He is a friend of my father’s.”

“I had parents.” Nigel offered, “They both died when I was little.” He shook his head a little, “I honestly don’t remember. How old I was.” How could he explain, he’d been told, his mother had been a ‘dancer’ for Darko’s father. She was pregnant by a customer of some wealth and position. Who then had her killed, right after Nigel was born. Killed her before she even named the baby. Nigel was raised as a ‘cousin’ of Darko, since he and Darko were about the same age, that and because Darko’s father had liked his mother. He hugged Adam a little tighter. How could he tell this innocent, beautiful man, that he had never been told their names?

“I’m sorry.” Adam replied. Nigel put Adam down, stood up, and held him tight. He breathed in the smell of Adam’s hair. Long deep breaths. They started rocking back and forth. Moving his left hand into Adam’s right, they started a shuffling dance. “I love every minute with you Adam Raki.” They ‘danced’ until Adam caught a toe on Nigel’s foot, Nigel laughed, “Oh no, I’ve got you. Let’s sit.”

When they looked bored again, Luc said, “I am looking for a house for Nigel, to live in.” He thought that was safe and direct. He waited while Adam thought. Nigel kept his arm around Adam. 

“Why does Nigel need a house?”

“It’s what I do. I live in a house.” Nigel said softly. 

“Oh. I have a house. In New York.” 

“When we visit New York, I look forward to seeing your house.”

“My house has two bedrooms.”

“You and I will sleep in one bedroom and Luc will sleep in the other bedroom. Is that okay?”

“Yes, Nigel.” 

“If I find a house here. Near where you work. I want you to live with me.” 

“I want to live with you Nigel.” Long pause, “Then maybe I can walk to work.”

“I would like that very much.” 

Luc wondered how he was going to pull this off. Pasadena houses are expensive, and people don’t usually sell their houses. The Altadena and Flintridge areas were the best, since they abutted the place Adam worked, and the area was the most difficult to find a house for sale, at any price. Sigh. Darko’s computer guy said he found one, “for a million and a half”. When Darko found out how little the acreage was for the property, he said, “Keep looking.”

“Finding a house to live in, might take a long time. But,” Luc took a deep breath, “maybe we will be lucky. And find one sooner. Until I find a house, should I bring over Nigel’s clothes? Or maybe you would like to come stay, in the hotel?” Adam had to work on that idea. Luc used the toilet.

Luc returned to find Adam kissing Nigel. He paused in the doorway. Nigel looked at Luc. Ah. They are going to live here.

Luc left. At the hotel, he picked up Nigel’s clothes. And saw a lady, he had seen the last time he ate in the hotel. She made eye contact with him. Was that supposed to mean something? She was quite a bit older than himself and used a walker. Maybe she wanted help with something? No. Wrong expression. He nodded to her. She nodded back.

Luc found a “Whole Foods” to buy groceries. And filed the name under ‘fun American phrases’. He bought those things that looked like he may have bought them for Nigel, coffee, tea, several sodas. Frozen bread dough, eggs and cheese. And three larger mugs. He went back and bought chocolate, Rediwhip and milk. Just for fun, because I’m dealing with teenagers in love! And a coffee machine. The cashier pointed out to him, the maker used coffee sold in plastic pods. He exchanged the coffee beans for the pods. Then he put the machine and the pods back. And didn’t buy any coffee. 

Returning to Adam’s, he found Nigel, flat on his back, with his feet in the air. After opening the door for him, Adam ran back and balanced himself on Nigel’s stocking feet, “We’re doing airplane, Luc!”

“I see.” Luc took the groceries into the kitchen, and the clothes into the bedroom. He returned to watch Adam trying to balance enough to let go of Nigel’s hands. “Woah!” Adam had almost made it. “Later,” Luc left, positive this was a prelude to a courtship.

When they were done air-planing, Nigel asked, “Is it time for the bed routine?”

Adam flushed from the game, realized it was. He also realized he had missed his tv show, for three days in a row. Since he had met Nigel. He looked at Nigel’s eyes and his mouth. He kissed him.

Nigel was in awe of Adam. The man was so, truthful. Nothing he did was fake. He kissed him back. Adam’s lips were soft. He brushed his tongue over them, Oh, did he want to love this man. He wanted to take him to bed. But, he held back. “Shower?” Adam nodded. When they dressed for bed, Adam checked over Nigel’s sleepwear, “These are not pajamas. This is a T shirt and these are little floppy shorts.” 

“It is what I wear.” 

Adam thought it over as they got in bed, “Okay. So now I know what to get you for your birthday. When’s your birthday?”

“Adam, my love.” He didn’t know. Whenever he asked, he’d been told, your the same age as Darko. But, when is my birthday? The same day as Darko’s. Nigel put the question back on Adam and asked playfully, “When is YOUR birthday?” 

“April 19, 1990.” 

Moving over and around Adam, Nigel groaned, “Oh Adam. I love you.” 

 

Luc in returning to his hotel, detoured back to the ‘Whole Foods’. He debated buying a fifth, and decided not. He debated buying a bouquet of flowers. Red roses seemed too much. He chose white roses. Twelve roses, as he paid for them, he took one out and gave it to the cashier. Odd numbers of flowers is the best, everyone knows that.

Luc drove to his favorite restaurant. Inside he waited for the waitress, when she returned to the front, he gave her the flowers.

“For me?”

He nodded, “For you.”

“They’re beautiful, thank you.”

He smiled at her. Her eyes, big and dark, looked at him steadily. They caught him for a second. He turned to leave. 

“Wait. Your not leaving?” She spoke calmly and quietly. As if her words were meant just for him.

He replied in kind, “Yes.”

“You’re not staying?”

“That would be,” he had not prepared what he was going to say, “not right. Inappropriate.” She understood! She smiled back! 

He drove to the hotel, thinking of her. Her name was Maria. The way she looked at him. Wow. It made him feel good. So unlike the men in his life.

Inappropriate. What a word. Five syllables. He wondered how syllables was spelled. This crazy language. No patterns. Even the word language was crazy. Lan goowidge, goowidge is spelled gauge. With the a and u switched.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragobete a Romanian celebration held on February 24, the first day of spring, is “the day the birds are betrothed”. The dominate person in the couple, is the one who steps over the others foot, on Feb. 24.


	10. Luc and Margaret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luc has breakfast, so does Margaret.

January 4

A Saturday.

 

Luc walked the garden paths. He like smelling the air and looking at the flowers, most of them were in their winter sleep. But this is Pasadena and quite a few, which he did not recognize, were in color. He went in for breakfast. Sipping his coffee, totally relaxed, the waitress came over, “We have our regular menu, and we also have a buffet. She pointed on the back of the menu, handing it to him. He glanced at a table loaded with flowers, fruit, and dishes on pedestals, and handed it back, “I’ll have the buffet, thank you.” He sipped more of his coffee. He felt contented. A good night’s sleep and great coffee. Everything just smelled so good. He finished his coffee and went to the buffet. The flower arrangements looked exotic. A waiter placing another dish of fruit, mangos arrayed in a beautiful pattern, caught him looking at a flower. The waiter nodded to the flowers saying, “The Bird of Paradise are all over Pasadena. People must love them.” The flower did look like a bird’s beak.

 

Luc looked over the chafing dishes. They were filled with various meats. At the far end were all manner of desserts. Rolls with cheese and fruit. Donuts and pastries. He stayed with his usual. Eggs. Then he saw a pastry with pecans and took one. And the smell of the mango’s drew him like a kid with a kite. He added two slices to his plate. He returned to find his cup refilled and the lady from last night sitting at the table next to him.

Along this wall were many empty tables. He looked at the window tables, not one in the first, the second, or the third row was empty. Tourists sit as close to the windows as possible, to add the views to their memory banks. Rotating as he sat, he checked, yep all the business types were near the windows or the buffet. Quite a few had luggage with them. So. She definitely wanted to talk to him. He nodded, “Good morning.”

She greeted him, in german. Ah. She continued, “I see that you are not a tourist, you have no family? Nor do you appear to be employed. And you are not an American.”

What does she want? “That is true.” He grinned, he’d answered her in german. “Sort of.”

She waited. He ate a piece of fruit. The waitress came. She ordered coffee, and the buffet.

 

Maybe she was looking for someone to bring her a plate from the buffet? But, she did not look at him. A couple entered with a child. A girl. The girl! From yesterday. They were looking at the woman. In Romania this would be a trap. Luc’s senses jumped to the whole room. Just before they arrived his neighbor said, “My name is Margaret.”

 

“Luc.” She pursed her lips together in a smile. Wait? Did she already know my name?

 

She greeted her family in american english. Then she introduced them to Luc. Her son, wife and granddaughter, Emily. They greeted him. Luc half stood, held his tie, shook the son’s hand. The son sat next to his mother. Across from him, his wife. And across from her grandmother sat Emily.

 

Emily said, “We met. At the floats yesterday.”

 

Luc admitted, “We did.” The wife turned, looked at Luc. If Luc was a bug, he’d be pinned to a board, “I was with a couple of friends.” True. “They missed the parade.” Also true. The expectant pause, got him to continue, “They enjoyed the floats with moving parts, the most.”

 

Margaret looked at him, gave him a smile, reached over and patted his hand! She asked her son, in german, to get her a plate. Luc noticed the wife didn’t know german. Once he was gone, she explained in german, “They are here to clean out my house of as many of my possessions as I’ll let them take. He wants me to move in with them. Me? Live with his wife? No. My daughter, who is at my house now, wants me to move into ‘assisted living’, near her. Can you imagine these are my choices?” Luc didn’t know what to say. He tried to give a sympathetic smile in return. The son returned, with Margarets’ plate and one for himself. The wife gave her husband a dagger look. The son gave his wife a ‘Sorry’ nod of his head to the right.

 

In English Margaret continued, “l was explaining to my good friend Luc, how the Pasadena Parade takes over the city, every year.” She placed her hand over her son’s. “I am so glad you brought Emily to see the parade, this year. If you had not, well. Who knows when.”

 

The wife said, “I think I’ll have the buffet. Order me a coffee. Dear.” She stood and waited, Emily joined her and they strode over to the buffet. Luc knew an angry woman when he saw one.

 

“My son, I have thought of another solution. I’m asking Luc to move in with me. He will take out the trash. As you are so fond of pointing out that I cannot handle both my walker and the trash. He will rake the leaves and call you when I fall. And in return I will give him a place to stay.”

 

The son gave Luc a dagger filled look, then pleaded, “Mother, you don’t know him.”

 

“I know enough. And if you convince him not to move in with me, I’ll find someone else. I have what he needs, and he has what I need.”

 

“What does he need?”

 

“A place to live, close to JPL, three or four bedrooms.” Up to this point Luc thought Margaret was using him to win a decision. But now, he thought seriously of leaving. How did she know his name? And about JPL? Oh, the granddaughter. Margaret had been sizing him up for some time. Smart lady. Also, she knew about Nigel and Adam. He relaxed a teensy bit. He wanted to say, I’m not german. But, ‘they’ were supposed to be long time friends.

 

The wife and Emily returned. The wife sat across from the grandmother and Emily now sat across from her father. Okay.

 

The waitress came and the husband ordered a coffee for his wife and a glass of milk for Emily. Luc nodded to her, and put his index finger on the table, she nodded back. They ate in silence until the wife said, “This buffet is magnificent.” Luc almost choked. The waitress returned with the drinks and Luc’s bill.

 

When Luc finished eating, he placed his money in the small folder they use to pay for the meal. Does it even have a name? Billfold? That didn’t seem right. “Margaret, it was nice to finally meet your family.” He nodded and made eye contact with each of them. “What time did you want me to come by?”

 

Margaret smiled, “Three o’clock.” He took her hand and kissed it. And he left. Well. That was fun. Even if he never saw her again, the look on the wife’s face. A moment not easily forgotten.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> The pose Nigel did for Adam, Michelangelo’s David.  
> The conclusion of Nigel and Adam Part 3 is ready for you to read.


End file.
